feelings

physically have not recovered from the illness

and here comes the inner feeling

i wonder whether i can just get out from this THING

if i just could keep the fucking damn distance from it

i would not have felt like this

if things don't change

i guess i will eventually fall for it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

its weird that sometimes i can see things at the good angle but not the bad

but every time when the good ends, bad comes in double or triple the impact

its like I'm an optimist but the end I'm still the pessimist that i always was,

just like what I was when I was younger

I thought i have changed much

but there are still some part of it remains

and it has deeply buried in me

its hard to take away

thats the origin of me

sometimes there are something that we wanted so badly

but still we can't get it no matter what

its not something physical

its............ i don't know

maybe we can call it spiritual

not ghost thingy la

but mentally

I'm so

EMPTY

so, any solution?

I guess I know how to solve it

but I haven't met the "fate" that could possibly solve it

ah~

relax la Neal, Mike and Thing Jen Wei