忧郁

其实也没有好忧郁的

我没有什么好损失的

i got nothing to lose

because

I GOT NOTHING

i wish

i wish

i could have

a girl

beside

ME

haha

GOTCHA!

expression

HOW CAN I FUCKING EXPRESS MY FEELINGS!!!???

DAMN

why?

nothing happened

but i feel like crying

change!

I wanna challenge myself to break some of my freaking bad habits

which are lazy to work out

lazy to take care of my health

lazy to finish work early

SO! FROM NOW ON

ALL THESE WILL BE TRANSFORMED INTO

work out harder

be healthier

have my work done earlier!!

words

words are like weapons.

and sometimes they are really weapons

which could be harmful to people, things, relationships and whatsoever

so, from now on

I will try my best to talk about things which are true, with love and positivity

I do not wanna hurt anyone anything any relationships between anyone

words can cause war, i mean REAL WAR

and

I shall

stop assuming

stop taking anything personally

anything from others is just nothing to myself

I want to be a HAPPY man

PURE man

REAL man

feelings

physically have not recovered from the illness

and here comes the inner feeling

i wonder whether i can just get out from this THING

if i just could keep the fucking damn distance from it

i would not have felt like this

if things don't change

i guess i will eventually fall for it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

its weird that sometimes i can see things at the good angle but not the bad

but every time when the good ends, bad comes in double or triple the impact

its like I'm an optimist but the end I'm still the pessimist that i always was,

just like what I was when I was younger

I thought i have changed much

but there are still some part of it remains

and it has deeply buried in me

its hard to take away

thats the origin of me

sometimes there are something that we wanted so badly

but still we can't get it no matter what

its not something physical

its............ i don't know

maybe we can call it spiritual

not ghost thingy la

but mentally

I'm so

EMPTY

so, any solution?

I guess I know how to solve it

but I haven't met the "fate" that could possibly solve it

ah~

relax la Neal, Mike and Thing Jen Wei